Q: "Alright. Here we are with Mauro Ranallo and R-Truth, and, uh, I believe I could kick off this interview with a simple question. What's up?"
Truth: "Well, what do you think is up? My career is over, and the way I was fired—
we were fired, man, it came out of the blue."
Ranallo: "I mean... Being able to work for WWE was always the biggest dream I ever had. Then,
whoosh, I'm fired! I just don't understand it. I don't understand what was going on. I think I did just fine. I did everything they told me to do, Vince told me to do, and I did it fine. I just don't understand it."
Q: "So, you're telling me you didn't have any clue? You couldn't sense this?"
Ranallo: "That's correct. One day Vince comes to me and says 'excellent job, Ranallo', and the next day I'm fired. I mean, he even knew my name! He knew who I was. That's something special when it comes to Vince. I thought he thought I did just fine. Guess I was wrong, however."
Truth: "Well, I mean, I never complained about the whole BiHive thing. Not once, man. Had I refused to perform the way Vince told me to, then I could understand why he decided to let me go. But I did not! I did everything he wanted—all the crazy ideas. I even agreed to the fucked up Royal Rumble thing they booked. It was... it was sick."
Q: "Yeah, that's actually one of the most interesting questions I'd like to ask from you guys. Whose idea was it? BiHive, that is. And how did you guys first react to it? Truth?"
Truth: "Yeah, well, at first we didn't really have a clue what was coming up. I hear it was the brainchild of one Olof Argi, a strange guy from the northern Alaska or, you know, the middle of nowhere."
Ranallo: "That's true. [Mark] Henry told me it was Argi's idea to call him 'Sexual Chocolate'. How stupid was that? How stupid
is it?"
Truth: "Yeah, I mean, totally fucked up, man. He made Henry touch Cedric [Alexander], you know, it was very sexual. And, uh, the Royal Rumble, man, it was all Vince. It was definitely Vince."
Ranallo: "Actually, no—I heard it was the Ed Leaves guy. Vince gave him the chance to book the whole Rumble [match], which was, you know, the craziest decision, like, ever."
Truth: "Well, whatever, Vince still greenlit everything, and, you know, made me wear those red pants, skin tight, and told me to get on Apollo [Crews'] back and... well, he told me to just sit there and let Henry massage my goddamned ass!"
Q: "Jesus. What did Henry think about all this?"
Truth: "Doesn't like it. Doesn't like it at all. He's just good at hiding his feelings. He fucking hates it, man. He's a religious dude, very outspoken about racism and stuff, and there he is portraying a horny, black, bisexual pervert on the motherfucking international television. I mean, he has a wife and two children. I guess he just doesn't want to get fired."
Ranallo: "Just like us."
Truth: "Just like us, man. But like I was saying, I did everything Vince wanted me to do. I rubbed oil on Apollo's chest, man. I climbed on top of... I mean, and this is just fucked up, man... on top of Henry, and I kissed him on the lips as he grabbed my ass and revealed my motherfucking asscheeks to the WWE Network! I did it, man. And how does Vince reward me? By kicking me out. I, too, have a goddamn wife, and let me tell you, she didn't enjoy those moments. She didn't enjoy them one bit."
Q: "Was there something specific you hesitated to do?"
Truth: "All of it, really. Well, guess I really hated the thing with Swagger. The black sausages, you know. The road agents gave us specific—micromanaged—rules we had to obey. Apollo
had to put the sausage into my mouth, and I
had to suck it. I'm telling ya, it wasn't improvisation, man. It wasn't my idea nor Apollo's. It was the higher-ups. They demanded it. They demanded me to suck the black sausage right after Apollo had sucked it. I'm a motherfucking father of five, man. Can you imagine how I fucking felt as I entered that goddamned match?"
Q: "Must have been something else, man. Well, Mauro, what about you? What did you think about the way they booked you?"
Ranallo: "Well, uh, Truth obviously got the short end of the stick, you know, but, uh, well, I was just irritated how they made me shout 'mamma mia' all the time. Let me get this straight—it wasn't my idea. It wasn't my catchphrase. It was Vince's. Vince found it funny, and because he found out I didn't like it, he made me shout it all the time. It's his humor, you know. Well, Vince was nothing compared to this guy Jay Perry, a real prankster. Fundamental, conservative writer with a clear vision—but a strange sense of humor. I mean, Vince told me to shout 'mamma mia' maybe two to three times a show, but Perry made me do it all the time. And he knew I hated it."
Q: "Anything else?"
Ranallo: "Well, uh, they made me receive a hellacious clothesline from [Luke] Harper. My throat is still aching because of it. But, you know, apart from that, I didn't have any problems with [the booking]. I even got to tend Kane's cat, but, well, yeah, that's another horrible story right there."
Q: "Can we talk about that for a little bit? What did you guys think about the cat?"
Ranallo: "I mean, I know Vince is a different beast, a character, you know, but, uh, to greenlit the death of a cat... I never thought I would cover anything like that."
Truth: "It's just—it's not wrestling, man. It's a freak show. I don't know about the younger wrestlers, but us older ones, we don't like it. We had the Attitude Era, and we were glad it was done with. Now it seems like it's coming back, man."
Q: "I've heard some rumors they've been rotating writers lately but are there any truth to this? Who's behind this, this change of direction?"
Ranallo: "It's true. They have, uh, ten to twenty writers and, yes, there's a rotation going on. Some of them are conservative, you know, Triple H guys, but most of them are Vince's. Vince still has the pull. You know—Ed Leaves, Pete Cheetah, Simon O'Birch, Ken Titus, all Vince guys. Then there's Jay Perry, Chris Tschiski, uh, Will Neville, more conservative ones. But still, it's ultimately all Vince."
Truth: "Myself, I don't really give a shit about these things. But if I have to touch and massage and kiss other guys just to earn my paycheck, as a professional wrestler, then I pay attention. And like [Ranallo] said, there's rotation, and there's Vince. It's Vince playing with fire right now. Maybe the fucker is finally getting old."
Q: "Did you watch Elimination Chamber? Any thoughts about the show?"
Truth: "It was fucking horrible."
Ranallo: "Yeah, it was pretty bad. Not a lot of decent in-ring action. Still, Rumble was much worse. At least there wasn't an orgy this time."
Truth: "The fucking thing with [James] Ellsworth... Kane with a child's coffin... [Sami] Zayn pushed to the main event with zero momentum... uh... [Hulk] Hogan and Undertaker... It was a fucking mess."
Ranallo: "The results were weird, too. Feels like Vince just decided to shock his universe just for 'fun'. I mean, in a way I'm glad I'm not commentating any of that anymore."
Q: "Yeah, about that. Any plans for near future?"
Ranallo: "Well, I got a call from Ring of Honor, and looks like I'm starting with them as soon as it's possible. I don't plan on returning to WWE unless some major changes take place."
Truth: "I'm taking a break from wrestling for now. I really want to forget BiHive. It's difficult, it's frustrating, but I'm trying to. The motherfucking memory of Henry's lips touching my ass... I just want to forget all of it."
Q: "What about Jason Jordan? Have you heard from him lately?"
Ranallo: "He doesn't actually answer any calls. [Chad] Gable told me Jordan's depressed, in fact. I mean, the dude was on the top of the world, having just won the NXT Tag Team Championship and getting the call to main roster. Then, everything goes wrong."
Truth: "I told the kid, as he got the call, that there's two ways this thing is going down. Either you're lucky or you're not. But you're probably not. And that's what happened with him. He could've stayed in the tag team with Gable and probably win the SmackDown titles, but, you know, Olof Argi decided to create BiHive. Next he finds himself licking whipped cream off Scott Steiner's ass."
Ranallo: "I just hope he gets everything together and doesn't decide to do anything he might regret. Jason's a very passionate pro wrestler, and being able to wrestle in the WWE was the only dream he had. I heard he was so happy when he got the call to main roster that he cried for two hours. And he never complained about anything he had to do in BiHive. He never complained. Not even once. Being a WWE wrestler was the only thing he wanted to do. And then they humiliated him both inside the ring and eventually outside of it, too. They destroyed the only dream he had, and he just doesn't understand why they did this to him. He doesn't understand it.